Tuesday, February 26, 2013

This Is Why You See Men Wearing Offensive Irish Tee Shirts On St. Patrick's Day

By Clinton Ames


There is only one reason guys do anything besides eat, poop, and sleep. The main motivation behind what guys do is for the ladies. Now, you may question that after seeing a guy punch another guy in the shoulder and make a fart joke, but that punch and that fart joke for all for the benefit of impressing the female gender. From the occasional out-of-place burp to the Irish drinking shirts they wear on Saint Patrick's Day, guys are just screaming for some feminine attention.

The best, and simplest, way to break down a man is to look at some of the lower rank and file of manhood. These are your typical variety that wear Irish party t-shirts to the bar on Saint Patrick's Day and make lewd comments to women while throwing high-fives to their buddies. These Irish party t shirts that they wear have a tendency to be highly off-putting to any decent woman who reads it. This may seem like a poor tactic to take, but men would not resort to it unless a) they had any other option, or b) they had lots of money.

There was a time many moons ago when we were all little children, fresh from beneath our mothers' skirts and into the classroom. This is a social experiment for many young children, and some of the first intimate interactions most boys will have with females. How do males handle this first contact situation? Why, they push little girls in the mud and laugh while the poor girl cries. Wearing hilarious Irish tee shirts that provoke and offend really is not much different from this simple behavior.

Outrageous Irish shirts are nowhere near as painful nor traumatic as physically assaulting someone and then laughing about it, but it can have similar effects. Guys only want attention, and if they can't get a positive reaction then they will certainly opt for a negative one. A negative reaction is much preferable than no reaction at all, so a man will intentionally rouse a woman to anger before letting her walk away, never to be heard from again.

Men must bring a women down to their level in order to understand them. If that is done by making them laugh at something silly they've done or by offending them with Irish Saint Patrick's Day t shirts, then most of the hard work is done for a man. Men only need to get the slightest level of attention from a woman in order to distract and engage. Once the woman has been distracted from her predetermined goal of having drinks and spending time with friends, she is suddenly open to forming new goals for the evening. That new goal may just be entertaining the company of a new male in her life. Mission accomplished.




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