School is not just a place for purely academic courses such as Algebra and American Literature, but for courses and activities that promote useful skills. It is unfortunate then that so few classes teach today's youth how to behave optimally during vital events, whether social, business, or otherwise. This is surprising considering just how important these affairs can be in making or marking our progress. It's a good thing, then, that there are books on small talk.
There will always be those among us with an in-born talent for breezy conversation, people who always seem to be able to captivate without ever offending. Frequently, such people turn out to have been raised in elite circumstances, which demonstrates that these books provide the general public with a skill that had usually been a province of the country club set. After all, one of the advantages of an elite education has always been about the inculcation of a manner rather than academic excellence as such.
By contrast, people who are rising in life might be smart and hard workers, but lacking in social graces. A recurring them in literature and film is the person at the upscale party who could not be uninvited because he has too much money, but who is generally disliked. One of the ways this character is identified is by his being too coarse in his or her manners and too intense in speaking.
In any number of situations, being able to make good conversation can be a tremendous advantage. Dating life is among the more obvious of these spheres of life, a sphere that is not just about conversing with a date over dinner but the right kind of flirting at a dinner party. By "dating life" one also includes random moments when one meets someone in a supermarket, at work, or on the street.
Business and commerce afford an endless number of scenarios which can be made use of by an ambitious, well spoken person. The poor person who gets his big break charming a rich man during an elevator ride is the stuff of movies, but it does happen. In some business situations, especially the sale and the interview, conversational skill can be enormously important.
Life is full of scenarios that seem breezy on the surface, but which quietly seethe with tension. For an up and coming poet, an established poet's reading can be a place where one makes all important contacts. But this must always be done with a casual air, without seeming like one is too obviously "on the make."
It is important to avoid being coarse while trying to be witty, and it is important not to try too hard at being witty. Good conversation requires passing knowledge of several topics, but one mustn't become intemperate about any of them. The most important talent is the talent for liking people one encounters. For this there is no substitute.
It is equally important not to overlook those who do not obviously offer whatever one is looking for. Socialize broadly and unhurriedly, enjoying all types of people, not just the best placed or prettiest. Conversational skills are about building networks of associates, and one measures success at party by whether one gets invited to others.
There will always be those among us with an in-born talent for breezy conversation, people who always seem to be able to captivate without ever offending. Frequently, such people turn out to have been raised in elite circumstances, which demonstrates that these books provide the general public with a skill that had usually been a province of the country club set. After all, one of the advantages of an elite education has always been about the inculcation of a manner rather than academic excellence as such.
By contrast, people who are rising in life might be smart and hard workers, but lacking in social graces. A recurring them in literature and film is the person at the upscale party who could not be uninvited because he has too much money, but who is generally disliked. One of the ways this character is identified is by his being too coarse in his or her manners and too intense in speaking.
In any number of situations, being able to make good conversation can be a tremendous advantage. Dating life is among the more obvious of these spheres of life, a sphere that is not just about conversing with a date over dinner but the right kind of flirting at a dinner party. By "dating life" one also includes random moments when one meets someone in a supermarket, at work, or on the street.
Business and commerce afford an endless number of scenarios which can be made use of by an ambitious, well spoken person. The poor person who gets his big break charming a rich man during an elevator ride is the stuff of movies, but it does happen. In some business situations, especially the sale and the interview, conversational skill can be enormously important.
Life is full of scenarios that seem breezy on the surface, but which quietly seethe with tension. For an up and coming poet, an established poet's reading can be a place where one makes all important contacts. But this must always be done with a casual air, without seeming like one is too obviously "on the make."
It is important to avoid being coarse while trying to be witty, and it is important not to try too hard at being witty. Good conversation requires passing knowledge of several topics, but one mustn't become intemperate about any of them. The most important talent is the talent for liking people one encounters. For this there is no substitute.
It is equally important not to overlook those who do not obviously offer whatever one is looking for. Socialize broadly and unhurriedly, enjoying all types of people, not just the best placed or prettiest. Conversational skills are about building networks of associates, and one measures success at party by whether one gets invited to others.
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