Saturday, July 2, 2011

Talking about controversial issues: Open ended questions to learn about without offending!

By Martin Paul


No matter if you're in a classroom or even at a party, an interesting conversation could end abruptly, with hurt or perhaps upset people and no one wiser for the change. Even if you might be really curious to understand and learn alternate opinions, you need to first develop the skill of asking open ended questions. You can frequently find these on Bibles like Bibles for Children.

Well meaning individuals can destroy everyone's possibilities of learning more about a subject of social debate, because they don't have this skill. Good as well as thorough utilization of rhetoric, in conjunction with an open ended question approach, can open the door to a lively as well as comprehensive debate where everybody gains.

For instance, let's say you are in a party, anxious to get to know new as well as interesting persons. Debatable topics are often, on some level, sensitive in nature. You have loved ones in the breakaway state of Russia and thus have different views of the reality of the recent Russian presence. You begin a conversation with a history professor with the following remark. "I think it's just horrible how the Russians sent soldiers into Georgia, killing innocent people! What do you think?"

Unless you know the disposition or perhaps feelings of that professor, you have put your foot in your mouth. You have started the discussion by declaring your bias up front. What happens if that professor is a Russian immigrant, having strong feelings on the Russian position? You have effectively divested yourself of understanding several important historical facts that might shed some light on the scenario. Once this educated person takes offense, the conversation may be short and uninformative.

On the other hand, provided the similar scenario, posing an open ended question does not imply conflict or bias on your part. You can ask, "You happen to be a history professor and I was interested to learn more about the case in the Georgian conflict. What is behind this?"

This alternate strategy doesn't express your position, other than one of ignorance. Even though the professor may have a bias, she or he will not think of you being an opponent and will be flattered that you appreciate the things they are familiar with. It's immaterial whether or not this person concurs with you. Your goal is to learn what they think and also know, how they got to their conclusions and grow more educated at the same time.

Another illustration of the open ended topic, used in a purely social context might concern a debatable movie. "Have you seen Michael Moore's 'Sicko'? I believe that guy's a nut and disgracefully unpatriotic, right?" You've expressed your point, putting the person you're questioning in a likely awkward lurch. Not many people of the contrary point of view will be rude adequately enough to tell you off. A second loss for you!

Why don't you consider, "Have you seen 'Sicko'? I was curious about his view on the medical situation. It's getting plenty of press." These kinds of examples on the use of open ended questions can be a bit heavy handed, but deliberately so. You can see the need for learning, devoid of offending.




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