Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Tips On Dealing With Domestic Abuse Stories

By Maryanne Goff


If you work in a field where you hear domestic abuse stories being told to you every so often, understand that it took these people courage and effort to be able to get these stories out of their system. Understand that the whole experience was a traumatic one for them. So, it is never something that you can just brush off casually.

People like these would require your understanding and the right reaction from you. It is your job to show to them that you want to understand what they have been going through and that you genuinely want to do anything that you can do to help them get through such an ordeal. It may have passed but the scars may still be visible. Also, it might still be raw enough for them to feel the hurt.

Remember that many of the people who ave experiences like these are often not very keen on coming forward and telling all about what they have gone through to you. Understand that this is as much as a struggle and a challenge to them. So, treating them with the utmost sensitivity and understanding is going to earn you lots of positive points in their book. After all, you want to earn their trust.

Assure them. Give them the necessary encouragement to allow them to tell you about the experience. Many have found that actually letting things out make them feel several times better than just keeping all these pent-up emotions in. One cannot really find true healing without coming to terms to what have happened to them.

Do not judge them. Sure, you can go ahead and do that, but do not expect them to be back the next day. You want to be the instrument to help them get back on their knees again. Yes, they have fallen so hard. Yes, there might be instances when the things that happened to them happened because they were a little weak then. But it is not for you to judge them so.

Tell them that healing is not always easy and is not always fast. Everybody has his own way of dealing with such issues as well. Every one has a different coping mechanism. So, do tell them to take their time in coping with the issue.

Encourage them. The last thing these people would like to hear is you putting them down and seemingly making it as if they were the ones at fault for what has happened to them. Try putting yourself in their shoes, for once. Empathize with them. Then you will find that understanding their current situation is not going to be that hard for you to do.

Women who have domestic abuse stories to tell should make sure that they will find the right counseling and the right support that they would require to heal better. Many might take time to actually get over the trauma of the entire experience. Getting involved in support groups with people if the same experience can help too. Then, they would get support from people who understand them most.




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