You have finally graduated college, after a strong 4-year run as a senior. You stayed as long as they would let you, you changed your major 15 times, and you've finally run out of financial aid. I suppose it's probably time to venture forth and find out what this whole "real world" business is all about. You need to get a job, you need to get religion, and you need to get a girlfriend. There are a few things that you need to change, however, before you can achieve any of these goals...starting with your bulging closet filled with funny t-shirts and pajama pants.
One of the most important places that you're going to want to ditch the idea of wearing funny t-shirts is to the job interview. You're a burgeoning professional now that you're out of college, but that first step to that new personae is to actually get a job. For anywhere from four to ten years, you have worn funny t-shirts and pajama pants to class, meetings with administrators, and out to eat. You may have forgotten what a sloppy individual that's turned you into. You will never get the job you want if you don't wear something with a collar to the all-important interview.
You just spent several years in college doing what most college kids do, and that's drinking and general debauchery on a weekly basis. You have a lot of sin to confess to at this point, and God has been waiting patiently for you to be a grown up and to come back to church. The only problem is that God requires that you try to look like a respectable human being when you come to his house, and your old funny t-shirts don't really fit the bill. Plus, church is a great place to meet possible work contacts and even some nice, upstanding young women.
By the good graces of the God you just made fervent apologies to, you've managed to get a job. That's the good news. The bad news is that you're still lonely and living alone in a strange city with no friends. A girlfriend would do great things for your confidence and mood, so you decide to dive in deep into the local night life. If you're planning on going to clubs and bars, your funny t-shirts may make you a few new friends in the dude department...but the ladies are surely going to steer clear. It's not like it was in college, buddy. It takes more than a 12 pack of beer to get a girl. It takes professionalism and you have to at least look like you're worth breeding with.
So, let's take a short moment out of our day to do a quick recap. First, if you don't start wearing your funny t-shirts in appropriate situations you will not get a job. Secondly, you will be forsaken by God. Thirdly, women will hate you. Do you realize yet that funny t-shirts are now only useful for playing video games in or playing touch football? You might be able to sneak them to a company picnic or team building exercise every now and again, but your days of pajama bottoms and funny t-shirts are over, my dear sweet grown-up.
One of the most important places that you're going to want to ditch the idea of wearing funny t-shirts is to the job interview. You're a burgeoning professional now that you're out of college, but that first step to that new personae is to actually get a job. For anywhere from four to ten years, you have worn funny t-shirts and pajama pants to class, meetings with administrators, and out to eat. You may have forgotten what a sloppy individual that's turned you into. You will never get the job you want if you don't wear something with a collar to the all-important interview.
You just spent several years in college doing what most college kids do, and that's drinking and general debauchery on a weekly basis. You have a lot of sin to confess to at this point, and God has been waiting patiently for you to be a grown up and to come back to church. The only problem is that God requires that you try to look like a respectable human being when you come to his house, and your old funny t-shirts don't really fit the bill. Plus, church is a great place to meet possible work contacts and even some nice, upstanding young women.
By the good graces of the God you just made fervent apologies to, you've managed to get a job. That's the good news. The bad news is that you're still lonely and living alone in a strange city with no friends. A girlfriend would do great things for your confidence and mood, so you decide to dive in deep into the local night life. If you're planning on going to clubs and bars, your funny t-shirts may make you a few new friends in the dude department...but the ladies are surely going to steer clear. It's not like it was in college, buddy. It takes more than a 12 pack of beer to get a girl. It takes professionalism and you have to at least look like you're worth breeding with.
So, let's take a short moment out of our day to do a quick recap. First, if you don't start wearing your funny t-shirts in appropriate situations you will not get a job. Secondly, you will be forsaken by God. Thirdly, women will hate you. Do you realize yet that funny t-shirts are now only useful for playing video games in or playing touch football? You might be able to sneak them to a company picnic or team building exercise every now and again, but your days of pajama bottoms and funny t-shirts are over, my dear sweet grown-up.
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