Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Three Of My Most Cherished Funny Golf T-Shirts

By Simon Mills


In the distant past, golf was a game for rich people and elites. Guess what? The times have changed, old guys! Golf is one of the most fun games around, there are tons of great courses out there that don't require a six-figure income, and I can usually drink beer the whole time I play. Incidentally, my game gets worse as the day goes on, but that has to just be a coincidence. The rules of the course are a bit more relaxed where I go, so my funny golf t-shirts are perfectly acceptable to wear. Here's a few of my favorites, and why I like them so much.

One of the best funny golf t-shirts that I own is my shirt that reads, "It's a gimmie...but PUT IT OUT!" I am a pretty outstanding driver. Working in a factory all of your life tends to give you a pretty good core set of muscles, and my form is pretty good too. When it comes to putting...forget about it. My handicap thrives on "gimmies", and if my buddies didn't allow them I'd be terrible on paper. I understand that means I'm terrible in reality too, but let me lie to myself, okay?

My second favorite shirt says "I cleaned my balls for this?" It features a picture of two golf balls, all shiny and clean. I have actually been asked to turn my shirt inside out at a course. I was a bit drunk and yelled, "You got something against funny golf t-shirts?" I complied, but I had the whole clubhouse laughing about it as I headed to the bathroom. Every other course I've been to hasn't been so uptight.

The other funny golf t-shirts that I love are my two that say "I love big putts, and I cannot lie." That's right, I have two of them. So nice I had to have it twice. One in green and one in navy, so that I can wear them no matter what else I'm wearing. I may be a middle-class slob, but I still like to look nice on the course.

It really doesn't matter which of my funny golf t-shirts I wear, they always brighten my mood when I go out to play. They also seem to bring a few grins to the faces of the people I see. If I'm known for anything at the courses I go to, it's for swearing; wearing funny gold t-shirts, and breaking clubs. I'm starting to think that I might want to work on my attitude a bit.




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