We are forced to deal with our family several times during the year, but there is no other time that makes us get closer to murdering them all than Christmas. At a time when we gather to celebrate love and gift-giving, we instead revel in the woes of commerce and stress. Since everyone is stressed out, small differences can turn into raging infernos that burn down lifelong relationships. This is why I've decided to wear nothing but funny tees during my visits to buffer the levels of anger in my family. Here are a few examples of how this could work:
Every family has someone like my uncle. He's the guy that forgets to buy presents and has a different, low-income job every year. For some reason, though, I love my uncle the best of all my distant relatives. He always has a smile on his face, even when I can tell that my aunt is seriously hurting his feelings with her snippy remarks. When I saw this happening, I rushed and put on one of my Christmas tshirts that I had dog-eared for this foreseen circumstance. It just had an elf who looked like he'd been partaking of some questionable herbs with text that read, "364 Days Off". That got a laugh from everyone, and suddenly the fight was diverted.
My aunt was not an easy foe to defeat, however. She is a cunning creature made of aggression and spite. My uncle was not always her favorite target, either, and I knew I had to fend her off at the pass before she got to my dear mother. I looked through the dozen, or so, goofy t-shirts I owned and found the perfect one. At this point, my family kind of caught on to what I was doing with these shirts, so my aunt looked at my shirt immediately when I walked up to her with a silly grin on my face. It had just text on it with some snowflakes that read, "Who peed in your snowdrift?" I think she got the hint.
This was going way better than I expected. I anticipated my grouchy grandma saying something, so I went and changed to the funny Christmas clothes I had picked out for her...but she was asleep and bothering no one. I was actually a little disappointed. My uncle could tell what I was doing at this point, so he just left. I had one more person to take care of, and it was by far the most important. My mom always got so sad this time of year, and I had to find a way to make her happy before I caught her sitting alone and weeping.
Mom was working away, just as she had all day. I was so preoccupied changing into my next tee that I had neglected to help her out in the kitchen. Poor mom looked older than she really was, hair all messed and soap up to her elbows. I made her sit down and finished what little was left of the dishes. I turned around and she was just smiling with wet eyes shining at me. She had seen my shirt, which said "Every day with my mom is the best gift I could ever receive."
She stood up and hugged me tight, laughing softly while I started crying against her shoulder. I loved my family, as messed up as they were. My aunt, uncle, and dad all came in when they heard the commotion and we all hugged and cried and told each other how special we all were to one another. It was perfect, and I owe it all to these ridiculous tees I had stockpiled for Christmas. Grandma slept through the whole thing.
Every family has someone like my uncle. He's the guy that forgets to buy presents and has a different, low-income job every year. For some reason, though, I love my uncle the best of all my distant relatives. He always has a smile on his face, even when I can tell that my aunt is seriously hurting his feelings with her snippy remarks. When I saw this happening, I rushed and put on one of my Christmas tshirts that I had dog-eared for this foreseen circumstance. It just had an elf who looked like he'd been partaking of some questionable herbs with text that read, "364 Days Off". That got a laugh from everyone, and suddenly the fight was diverted.
My aunt was not an easy foe to defeat, however. She is a cunning creature made of aggression and spite. My uncle was not always her favorite target, either, and I knew I had to fend her off at the pass before she got to my dear mother. I looked through the dozen, or so, goofy t-shirts I owned and found the perfect one. At this point, my family kind of caught on to what I was doing with these shirts, so my aunt looked at my shirt immediately when I walked up to her with a silly grin on my face. It had just text on it with some snowflakes that read, "Who peed in your snowdrift?" I think she got the hint.
This was going way better than I expected. I anticipated my grouchy grandma saying something, so I went and changed to the funny Christmas clothes I had picked out for her...but she was asleep and bothering no one. I was actually a little disappointed. My uncle could tell what I was doing at this point, so he just left. I had one more person to take care of, and it was by far the most important. My mom always got so sad this time of year, and I had to find a way to make her happy before I caught her sitting alone and weeping.
Mom was working away, just as she had all day. I was so preoccupied changing into my next tee that I had neglected to help her out in the kitchen. Poor mom looked older than she really was, hair all messed and soap up to her elbows. I made her sit down and finished what little was left of the dishes. I turned around and she was just smiling with wet eyes shining at me. She had seen my shirt, which said "Every day with my mom is the best gift I could ever receive."
She stood up and hugged me tight, laughing softly while I started crying against her shoulder. I loved my family, as messed up as they were. My aunt, uncle, and dad all came in when they heard the commotion and we all hugged and cried and told each other how special we all were to one another. It was perfect, and I owe it all to these ridiculous tees I had stockpiled for Christmas. Grandma slept through the whole thing.
About the Author:
To fill your brain about a Christmas shirts go to Christmas tees to see how it's done right.
No comments:
Post a Comment